Theme of the Month: Wounding, Healing and Integration
This Week:Touching the Edge โ What We Avoid, and Why It Matters
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June:
๐12.5. - 11:00
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Dear Reader,
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A few nights ago, I was lying on my mat in the dark.
Just after a conversation that left me a little raw โ not in a dramatic way, just one of those moments where something touched a deeper layer I usually donโt let others see.
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I felt the tightening in my chest.
The familiar ache behind my breastbone.
And the almost automatic urge to do something โ move, breathe it away, open a podcast, think of dinner.
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This time - I stayed.
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I let my hand rest on my chest and said, silently, Iโm here.
What rose up was an old sentence:
Youโre too much.
You're too sensitive -
You always were.
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I hadnโt heard that line in years. But my body still remembered the impact of hearing this judgment in my younger years - around 10.
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I used to be terrified of these edges โ the quiet places where old beliefs still echo.
As a kid, I learned fast how to avoid. I avoided being needy. Asked for what I want - I avoided asking for things I couldnโt prove I deserved - The inner pleaser became stronger - Fear of rejection armored as a protection shield to not get hurt - again.
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Avoidance, back then, felt like wisdom.
Stay light. Stay safe. Stay lovable.
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It took me years to realize that the things I was avoiding werenโt just discomfort.
They were the places that held the truth of who I was โ the longings, the grief, the tenderness.
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That night, I didnโt try to fix it.
I just let it be there โ the feeling, the memory, the voice.
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And I noticed something else:
A quiet sense of warmth.
A part of me had been waiting for this moment โ not to be pushed or need to change, just to be met.
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Sometimes, thatโs what integration is.
Not a grand transformation. Not a lightning bolt. Sometimes very silent.
Just the willingness to stay present with something we used to run from.
What are you still avoiding?
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You donโt need to name the biggest thing.
Just something subtle โ a part of yourself, a topic, a truth, a feeling.
The thing you keep walking around without quite looking at.
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Thereโs often a reason we avoid it.
Maybe it wasnโt safe to feel it, speak it, or be with it when we were younger.
But now โ with a bit more capacity, a bit more support โ we can try again.
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Not to force anything.
Just to notice how near we can stay to that edge.
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If you want to dive deeper into that topic: Read here the full article on my websiteโ
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This is a living letter. Forward it, share it, or invite someone to join: [Newsletter Sign-up Link]โ
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Till next week
- Johannes
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Next Sunday at 10:00 -
Topic off the Month: Intimacy: The Courage to Be Close -
Week: What Intimacy Really Means (and Why We Fear It)
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